I have been so tired lately. My blood sugar is going up and then dangrously low and then I become worn out. I pray and believe that God will touch and heal my body!

I had a great day yesterday watching my oldest son Zachariah and my daughter Amber performing in a cheerleading competion! They did great and I was so proud of them.. I wish Randy could have been there with us he would have been glowing all over at how well they did!

At church today God spoke to someone to speak to be and the words were so simple yet so needed!! He said, "I will never let you go, i am always with you.. she said she could she the Lord with His arms wrapped arround me.. It was much needed comfort!!!

God has really been dealing with me in reguards to given and tithing. I had "man" tell what I was suppose to do with my money and I had "God" telling me what to do with my money. I felt guilt and condemed when I follow God and not the idea of man or organized religion. But, I did as the Lord directed I gave where He told me to give and then he blessed me through a women that I have never met who lives 3000 miles away from me.. He gave me double what I gave Him. He confirmed to me that it was Him guiding and directing me and I was within His will...

What an amazing God we serve.

Loving Beyound Human Love

Have you ever felt unwelcomed, offended, hurt, or looked down upon by the Body of Christ? Have you ever not welcomed someone new in your church or not embrace another member because they didn’t fit your idea of what a Christian should be, dress the right way, or because they had hurt and offended you at some point in time? If Jesus walked through the doors of your church would he be welcomed or turned away?

The sad truth is we can all say yes two the first two questions. To the third question I believe Jesus is turned away each time we don’t allow His presence to be ushered in each and every time we come together as the Body of Christ whether or not that is in the walls of a church building, a bible study, a gathering of any kind in the name of Lord Yeshua. I dont believe that todays church body anywhere compares to the one of the 1st century and that in itself saddens me.

I don’t think we always intentionally pre-judge others yet if we are honest we all do it. When someone new comes into our churches or into our lives do we openly welcome them even when they don’t fit the bill of a "Christian", when they aren’t dressed like we think they ought to be dressed or when we don’t feel comfortable with their outward appearance? Or, if the seem somewhat different than the norm?

Something that God spoke to my heart so clear at 2am this morning is I did not turn you away my child! You were clothed in filthy rages, your heart was hardened towards me and sin was decaying within you, yet I received you as My Own! I embrace you, I forgave you, and I filled you with my love and with My Spirit, and threw all your past sins into the sea of forgetfulness never again to be remembered. My love for you has been unconditional, no matter how you were clothed, how many times you have failed, how many times you have walked in your own way, or how many times you have grieved my My Spirit. I called you out of Darkness into Light, out of sin into forgiveness, and out despair into Life eternal. Yet you do not receive those whom I bring into My House and into your life, you don’t embrace them as I have embrace you. You don’t usher in forgiveness when offended. You don’t show the unconditional love I have shown you. You see only the sin within them not that I have created them in my image and love them the same as I love you! You see what is on the outside when I see what is within the heart. Oh, how many of my children will you turn away? Oh, how many of them will never come to know Me because you didn’t reach out and embrace them with the Love in which I embraced you with? My child reach out to my lost children and lead them unto me that I may embrace them, that I may set them free, and that I may bring them home to me. Begin to love and except others through the love in which I have placed within your heart. Begin to see them as I see them! Begin to love them as I love!

I believe God was speaking this to His body, the ones called by His name! 2 Chronicles 7:14 says, "Then, if my people, who bear my name, will humble themselves, pray, seek my face and turn from their evil ways, I will hear from heaven, forgive their sin and heal their land." If we dont turn and seek God and reach out to this lost and dying world who will? Its time as the children of God that we step out of our comfort zones and begin to reach out to each other. It is easy to embrace those we are close too or the ones we are most familiar with but it is time to go beyond the safety of those we are comfortable with and reach out to those we don’t know and that are desperately needing to be accepted and loved with the love of the Lord. If we don’t reach out to them and show them the unconditional love of Christ then who will?

We are to Love God with all our hearts, minds, and souls and to love our Neighbors as ourselves. If someone has ofended you go to them, reconcile yourself to them, humble yourself and offer the forgiveness Yeshua free gave to us to them. Its time we accept other as Christ has accepted us!

My thoughts

I havent writtne much in a long time. Today I hope to start writing daily or at least weekly. My husband died July 1st of 2010, just 5 months ago. This last year has been very hard. There are days I am completely lost in my own grief and confussion. There are good days as well. I know nothing in my life or my childrens lives will ever be the same. But, I hold on to the hope that in Christ we will one day see those we love again.

I am having a fairly good day so far today. I am in college and working on a research paper "counseling women who have been abused." I am also writing a response paper on a article on "Athesism." I have Torah Study tonight which I dearly love. I love learning the complete truth of our Hebrew Messiah!

I have a firend that is very sick and going through so much in her home life! I have another friend that is having difficulties in her marriage and yet another friend having difficulties with her adult children. There is so much suffering and sorrow in our world today. I know the time is drawing near for the returning of the Lord.

Well, I will write more later. My oldest son Zachariah got me a puppy and I knew to go buy it some food - we named him Jasper! :)

In the Hands of God

God has not called us to do what seems possible, reasonable or normally attainable; He has called us to the impossible. He wants us to stretch beyond our ability, our faith, and our capacity to reason. He wants us to do more than we could ever imagine or dream... To accomplish our calling, we must put our hand in the hand of God, learning to be completely dependent on the Holy Spirit for everything.